“What is the matter with me?  I am so stupid!  I hate my thighs, I can’t do it…I’m not good enough”…sound familiar?  Hopefully not (and you won’t have to read this newsletter) but I hear these kinds of comments everyday from my clients, my friends and even myself.  Catching myself making these comments and having these thoughts was the inspiration for part of my 100 Day Challenge this year – to say and think loving and supportive things to and about myself.  Not entirely to my surprise, it has been quite a challenge!

Do you beat yourself up or put yourself down?  Are there traits or characteristics that you don’t like about yourself?  Certain body parts, the way you laugh, your temper, insecurities, inability to set boundaries, habits…(add yours here).  How much of your time and energy do you spend trying to fix, change or hide what you don’t like?  How often have you said something harsh or negative about yourself – in your mind or to others?

This tactic of treating yourself harshly is often mistaken for a way to get motivated.  If you are hard on yourself, maybe you will finally make the changes, get the work done, lose the weight, become more patient – maybe you will finally be a better person.  This type of motivation may work in the short term but after a longer period of time it wears you down, depletes you and makes you weaker.  There’s not much joy in being worn out, depleted and weak.  Can I suggest another approach?

Try treating yourself with gentleness and compassion.  Recognize that you have flaws and characteristics that you don’t like and treat yourself with love and respect anyway because this kind of treatment will be more motivating.  Julia Cameron talks about this idea in her book, The Artist’s Way, when she says, “Treating yourself like a precious object will make you strong.”  I think she is right about this approach.  Every time I choose to treat myself with love and respect, I have more energy and am able to get “unstuck” quickly.  It takes some practice and a shift in thinking and eventually you will find that you are more energized, peaceful and joyful.  Loving who you are, flaws and all, can be a tall order and I haven’t found any other strategy that works better than this one. Love ya!

My birthday is on Sunday May 15th and as usual, I am planning to celebrate.  I love to celebrate my birthday and I also love to share the fact that it is my birthday with anyone who will listen!  I believe that celebrating is important and that we don’t do it enough. 

I am constantly reminding my clients to celebrate.  My clients are amazing, dedicated and continually moving forward toward their goals. As they reach their milestones I will gently remind them that they need to celebrate because they are usually wanting to keep going.  When we don’t stop to acknowledge what we have accomplished, after a while, our spirit gets tired and we will start to struggle.  It’s important to recognize what we have done whether it’s “big” or “small” because by recognizing our progress, we will be renewed and ready to keep going. 

As we come to the end of the 100 Day Challenge, this idea is especially appropriate.  Whether you have done the entire 100 days or only did the first week I want you to take a few minutes to reflect and give yourself credit for what you accomplished.  I want to congratulate you for taking up the challenge.  I don’t care if you didn’t make it past the first 3 days – you deserve to be celebrated for having the courage to sign up in the firs place! 

The more you acknowledge what you have done, the more likely you will be to step up and challenge yourself again.  I would love to hear about how you celebrate, what you learned, or what you think about the 100 Day Challenge.  Leave your comments here so that we can all celebrate with you.  Celebrate your talents, celebrate your accomplishments…celebrate your life! 

Joyfully,

Deb