It has been some time since my last note to you and let me say that I have missed writing to you.  A quick update about my health – I finished radiation treatments in October, spent most of November resting and then traveled to Thailand for a woman’s yoga and meditation retreat at the beginning of December.  After the retreat my husband joined me in Thailand and we spent the following 3 weeks exploring the country, savoring the food, shopping in the markets and resting on the beaches.  It was a glorious break from the previous 8 months and I returned feeling stronger, rested and more deeply connected to myself. 

Today I want to share with you something that I have been learning from this cancer experience.  I have been very purposeful in not writing my regular newsletter these past few months.  I have been careful to stay out of the public, intentionally saying no to requests for my time and energy, coaching only a small group of clients and fiercely protecting my meditation, journaling and yoga time each day.  I have been extremely careful to stay out of the pull of ‘what’s next for me’ now that the treatments are over.  I no longer want to go back to my old ways – not because they were bad or unsupportive but because something new needs to be birthed. 

One thing I have always underestimated is the amount of time it takes to recover – from anything.  Probably because I was always so focused on getting things done, I never stopped to truly evaluate how tired I could get.  Being tired was usually disguised as being hungry (which translated into carrying extra weight) or being impatient/short tempered (raging because the dishes were carried to the dishwasher but never put in the dishwasher) or being the drama queen (you don’t love me…nobody loves me…sob, hand swept over forehead). 

Can you relate?  My mentor says that it’s not stress that is harmful to us but the lack of recovery time from stress.  Since we are continuously in a state of stress these days, you can imagine how hard your body is working and how much of a recovery deficit you are in. 

My cancer is a case in point.  While I thought I was living a pretty balanced and healthy life, cancer has shown me very clearly where I have denied myself the love and nourishment that I truly needed.  Going through the diagnosis, surgery and treatments acted like a highlighter for the beliefs and habits that needed to be changed or discarded completely.  The biggest belief?  That my rhythms were not important – that somehow I was supposed to keep up with everyone else, perform on everyone else’s schedule according to their expectations and their expertise.  Operating on this belief meant that I denied my own experience, my expertise and my own inner wisdom. 

February is a month that focuses on love.  What I would love is for you to focus on giving love to yourself.  Maybe it’s in the form of rest, getting out your paints and canvas, tending to your smallest of needs like water and a hug, giving yourself extra time with a good friend or a good book….what are the ways that you can nourish your rhythms?  Can you step away from the stress of trying to be like everyone else and step into love with yourself?  Of course you can! 

Give yourself the gift of some recovery time each day or week this month and experience your joy in a new and deeply enriching way.