March 13, 2015

Letting Go of Control

Filed under: Reconnection — Deb @ 9:08 am

“There is no guarantee that you will be certified to teach the Way of the Happy
Woman retreats,” she said strongly.

I suddenly started to feel sick to my stomach.  I had invested thousands of dollars,
traveled all the way to Thailand (a month after my last radiation treatment, no less)
and devoted 2 years of my time and energy to study this work.  Now my mentor, my
teacher, my guide was telling me I might not be certified to teach her work???  I felt
angry, sad and terrified all in the same moment.  She ended the call a few minutes
later and I sat in stunned silence, feeling scared to death that I had made a huge
mistake (and had wasted a staggering amount of money).

I wanted to feel better.  I wanted to feel happy, calm and excited about the work I
had been studying but these feelings of anger, sadness and terror were overwhelming
and threatening to flatten me completely.  Fortunately, years of having my own
grounding practices helped me to shift into action.  After a few minutes of sinking into
my practices I was able to hear my inner wisdom again.  I was reminded of a story my
friend told me once about a researcher who was writing a book about burnout.  He
interviewed many different people and organizations until one day, his research led
him to a group of nuns.  While all of his previous subjects had experienced burnout,
this group of nuns had been working extremely hard for decades and none of them
had ever experienced burnout.  Their explanation was simple.  Every day they listened
to the calling in their hearts, showed up, did the work and left the results up to God.

“Let go,” my wise self whispered.

Immediately I could see that not only was I attached to a specific result but that there
was so much tension and rigidity in my body from trying – no pushing and striving – for
a specific result that I hadn’t even noticed how exhausted I was feeling.  Exhausted
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I knew I had to let go.  I knew I had to stop trying to control things and shift, instead,
to listening to the deeper calling of my heart.  Make no mistake, letting of the results
is an incredibly difficult action.  Letting go called up all my old demons – the imagined
judgements of others, the worry of not being enough, the fear of failure and public
humiliation (because in my excitement, I had announced to all of you, dear readers,
and anyone else who follows me that I was going to be offering the Way of the Happy
Woman retreats).  I was not a happy woman…I let go anyway.

What are you trying to control?  Are you so focused and attached to a specific result
that you are depleting your life force energy?  Attachment to a specific result is
depleting.  Showing up and taking action on the calling of your heart is life giving.

I had already learned this lesson about letting go when I was diagnosed with breast
cancer.  My life suddenly became very focused on results, results that I had no control
over.  The fear of dying (the ultimate act of letting go) made me desperate to find
control, to force life to turn out the way I wanted it to turn out.  But there is no cure for
this disease and so I am reminded daily that I have to let go, that I have to stop trying
to create a specific result.  I have to listen to what I am being called to do, I have to
show up and I have to leave the results up to a power much greater than me.  What I
have noticed when I can let go is that situations seem to turn out better than I
imagined (not always but most of the time) and they turn out in ways that I would
never have been able to control anyway!

Let go, Sweet Ones!  Stop pushing and striving and trying to control the outcomes.
Start listening – your heart is calling

Love,

Deb
Turns out I did get certified in the end!  My first retreat was a hit so I have set two dates
for a spring retreat.  You have the choice of in Winnipeg or in Steinbach this time!

Please join me for …

The Way of the Happy Woman Spring Self-Care Mini-Retreat!

Self-care isn’t selfish. When we women slow down and attune to our bodies
(and the cycles of nature), we become more vital, creative, and powerful.

If you’re longing to give more, do more, be more, please join me for a very
special half-day self-care mini-retreat for women!

Together, we’ll create a sacred container for quiet contemplation and creative
group practices. Nourish yourself with women’s yoga, insight meditation,
seasonal self-care secrets, intuitive journaling, and more. It’s all based on The
Way of the Happy Woman (www.wayofthehappywoman.com ): Sara Avant Stover’s
acclaimed book, practice collection, and global community.

It’s happening in two locations:

Steinbach, Manitoba
Saturday April 18, 2015
Early Registration Date: March 27, 2015

AND/OR

Winnipeg, Manitoba
Saturday May 23, 2015
Early Registration Date: May 1, 2015

And when you register by the Early Registration Date, there’s a sweet discount.
Click here for details & registration. I hope to see you there!

Follow Deb:

Join me for some yoga or meditation and give yourself the gift of letting
go…just for an hour!

Yoga
Mondays 7:30 – 9:00 Rest and Renew
Wednesdays 11:00 am – 12:00 Yin
Source Yoga Studios, 2567 Pembina Highway

Meditation
Thursdays 9:15 – 10:15 am
Prairie Roots Winnipeg, 202-562 Academy Road

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Twitter: @debdawsondunn

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