“What is the matter with you?!  You’re going to look like an idiot if you do that!  Who do you think you are??  I can’t believe you could be so stupid!  There’s no way you deserve that (job, sweater, time off, love…)”

The above tirade is not directed at you!  But I wonder if you have ever heard yourself saying something similar, under your breath, directed at you.  In my experience most of us have that nagging voice that at best might inspire us to get off the couch and at worst keeps us locked in a tighter and tighter grip of low self-esteem and lack.

This rather nasty part of ourselves is our Inner Critic and for many of us, it is a constant companion, always there to point out all the ways that we are not enough.  And while it may seem like there is no difference between yourself and this Inner Critic (IC), please know that this is not your truest and most authentic self speaking.  When you hear this inner criticism, say to yourself “this is not me.”

There are several other theories for how to deal with your IC but today I would like to give you a homework assignment – something to balance the negativity and harshness of your IC.  It’s a simple assignment but not an easy one.  It may even feel somewhat uncomfortable at first but it will be worth it!

Go and get a pen and some sticky notes….yes, right now….I’ll wait….

Got ‘em?  Great!

Now, step one:

Write a compliment to yourself on the sticky note.

Step two:

Stick the sticky note somewhere that you can see it every day.

Step three:

Repeat step one and two every day for 30 days.

As I said, it is a simple exercise but if you found it a bit squishy to give yourself a compliment you are not alone.  We aren’t taught to extend love, compassion or compliments to ourselves.  We are taught to extend these qualities to others only and as a result our IC’s get free run of the space in our heads.

So, on this day that celebrates love, can you give yourself some love?  Take a moment to write down a compliment and really soak it in.  Then notice if the inner critic doesn’t get a little quieter.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

P.S.  Have I mentioned that I think you are a beautiful person?  You are!  (and you can write that on a sticky note!)