This past week, I had an appointment with my oncologist.

“You are the healthiest person I am going to see today,” he said after going over my latest test results.

All clear.

No signs of malignancy, no evidence of cancer.

Yay!

It was four years ago last week that I started radiation treatments and now, today, I am healthy and strong and cancer free (to the best of our knowledge).

As I walked out of the clinic, my thoughts immediately turned to my to do list.  So many things needed my attention and I felt the familiar anxious pull in my body to get moving and get things done.

Stepping into the warmth of the noonday sun, I noticed another feeling in my body….an overwhelming sadness.  This was odd.

I listened more intently.

What was the sadness about?

Then, in a flood of awareness I realized I had completely brushed aside the amazing news I had just received.  Not only had I dismissed it as one small aspect of my day, I had also dismissed all of the work I had done to get myself to a healthy state of body, heart and spirit.

From the day I was diagnosed I looked for ways to come back to a balanced state of health.  I worked with a therapist, I found a wise and competent naturopath, I added supplements to my routine and drastically changed my diet.  I began working with a Chinese Medicine Doctor and having regular acupuncture treatments.

I made difficult decisions that went against the conventional advice of our western medical system.  I refused chemo treatments and hormone therapies that didn’t align with what my body needed.  When the doctors didn’t align with what I knew in the deepest part of myself that I needed, I fired them and found doctors that would co-create health with me.

I let go of my work – the business I had worked so hard to build and let it come back to me in a way that was more nourishing for me and for the people I worked with.  I dedicated myself to a daily meditation practice and in four years I have not let anything deter me from my mediation cushion.

What I did was not easy.

It takes constant practice to be able to listen to your own wisdom.  It’s harder still to take action on what your body, heart and spirit is telling you are right for you.  (Trust me, firing cancer doctors does not get you on the “nice list”!)

I listened to many people too – doctors, nurses, social workers, healers, naturopaths, homeopaths, chiropractor, massage therapist, nutritionists, coaches, mentors, family and friends….and I am healthy today because I filtered all that advice through my inner wise self.

I listened – deeply, closely and with faith – to the part of me that is truly wise.  The aspect of me that is connected to the Divine.

Please note….I know that many other women and men have done similar things that I have done and they have not had such positive results.  I am not saying that I have some kind of cure or that I did everything right therefore I am healthy now.  Maybe it’s a miracle …AND it’s a miracle that I had a hand in creating.  I am not brushing this off to luck or chance. I am tired of not acknowledging my efforts in life.  I have shown up for myself everyday for the past four years – it has been really hard and I am claiming this dedication.  I am celebrating – not that my tests were clear….I am celebrating that I listened and took action.

Where are you not showing up for yourself?   What is your body trying to tell you?  Can you hear the whisperings of your heart?  Where is your spirit trying to guide you?

Maybe it’s time for you to listen more closely….

Love,

Deb