Peaceful Reader:

Every fall we take out a huge, white tarp and we wrap it around our gazebo.  We pile all our outdoor furniture inside and wrap it up to protect the screens and the furniture from the winter elements. 

It’s a signal to us that summer is over and its time to shift our energy from expanding and creating something new to the energy of turning inward and wrapping things up.

When you look to nature as your guide, you’ll see that she is no longer growing or blooming now.  She is shedding anything that she doesn’t need, she is letting parts of her die off and she is preparing to rest under a deep blanket of snow. 

She is slowly and quietly telling us that we need to let go of the things, people, beliefs, habits, etc. that we no longer need and to bring to completion what we have been doing over the spring and summer months.

Wrapping things up or completing projects is important now, because you need to be lighter as you move into winter.  Going into the winter season with too many half-completed projects or with plans to start new projects will drain you on every level.  You need to be clear and open, your life simplified and without distractions when you shift into winter.

Why?

Because in the winter you rest – deeply.  It’s while you are resting that you can receive the vision for your life for the coming year.  If you are distracted by doing, doing, doing you’ll miss the guidance you need to fulfill your purpose here.  I think that we could use a few more people who are on purpose right now, don’t you?

Choose one or two things that you can bring to completion now and let the rest go or set them aside until spring.  Start to wrap things up and prepare to crawl under you own cozy blanket, ready to dream!

Love,

Hello Wonderful Reader:

I hope you have been enjoying your summer!  To get you set up for fall, I have two offers that you’ll want to check out.  I’m doing one last intake for coaching and the early registration date for my Way of the Happy Woman retreat is fast approaching.  Keep scrolling after the message to take advantage!

Permission to Dream

“Okay Deb…what’s your big dream?!”

Her question was met with silence.

“Hello?  Are you there?” she asked, concern creeping into her voice. 

Sigh.

“Yes, I’m here, Sandra…. I just REALLY hate that question,” I replied.

“Why is that?”

“BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A FRICKEN’ DREAM,” I barked into the phone.

I imagined her on the other end of the line, her hair blown back from her head at the force of my words.  I immediately apologized.

“I’m sorry,” I said.  “I have always hated this question because it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me – like I’m less of a human being because I don’t have some big, impressive dream to strive for.  Even worse, what kind of personal growth coach doesn’t have a dream or a vision or some big goal??”

She listened patiently.  “That’s okay.  For the purpose of this course, we just need something that you want to do so we can practice this coaching method.  So, tell me, what would you love to spend your time doing if you didn’t have to work or look after anyone else?” 

It came pouring out of me, my heart suddenly opening and sharing my secret joys with this woman I had only just met in class.  When I finished, her statement blew me away. 

“That sounds like a dream to me.”

Do you have a dream?  A wish, a desire, an inner pull to something?  Are you taking actions towards that “something” or are you stuck in the same cycle of doubt, resistance or fear that I have been in?

I always thought dreams had to be about some world changing event like saving the forest or creating a charity or feeding the hungry or designing underwear that doesn’t bunch up.  I shut down my dreams because they didn’t seem big enough or they didn’t prove my worthiness as a human.

My classmate gave me permission to follow what was in my heart and for the last three months, I have been discovering a part of me that I thought I had lost.  Now I know that I do have dreams and these dreams are worthy and I am creating the freedom to follow them.  I can show you how to do it too, because the more you are creating your dreams, following your heart and tapping into your joy, the more joy there will be in your family, workplace, community and life! 

Are you ready to start dreaming again?

Love,

Hello Joyous Reader:

“AAAAHHHHHHHHH….”

I heard her coming before I saw her.  Her voice rang out over the sound of crashing waves as she ran past me down the beach.  Without breaking her stride, she dropped her towel, then peeled off her cover-up and shed her flip flops one by one leaving a bread crumb-like trail behind her as she flung herself into the ocean.  Arms open wide as if to embrace the entire world, she jumped and laughed and let herself be knocked over by the waves as they rolled to shore. 

As I watched her, I realized I was grinning from ear to ear, taken in by her obvious joy of playing with the waves.  Her exuberance was more like a child than the grown up, responsible and sensible woman that she portrayed most of her days.  My heart felt light just to watch her. 

Then I suddenly noticed a man standing next to my lounge chair.  He put down the display board he was carrying, laden with silver necklaces, bracelets and earrings.  Like the other Mexican beach vendors, he no doubt had been intending to talk me into buying something when his attention was deterred by a woman whooping for joy as she galloped into the ocean.

He turned to me, a look of amazement on his face.  Pushing his hat off his forehead, he pointed to the woman dancing with the surf and said something to me in Spanish. 

I shrugged and grinned back at him.  “Happy?” I said.  Then we both laughed together as we watched.  He turned to pick up his wares shaking his head slightly and still grinning, he walked off down the beach, watching her as he went. 

And that, my friends, is what happens when you are not afraid to express your joy!

You bring strangers together.

You ignite joy in others around you.

You make the world a more joyful place!

Love,

Luminous Reader:

Welcome to Summer!  This issue is all about freedom.  I am still taking players for my Inner Freedom coaching and there are some (very rare) open spots in my women’s yoga class for July.  Scroll past the message for more details!

Reclaiming Your Freedom

“Olly, olly in free…. Jenny has to go-oh….” my voice sang out into the growing darkness.

The neighborhood kids came out of hiding and we gathered around the pile of tin cans. 

“See you tomorrow,” Jenny waved and dashed off in the direction of home. 

“I’d better go, too,” said Michael.

“Me too,” Janet piped in.

Someone picked up the tin cans and we all agreed to meet back at the same spot tomorrow after supper.   Reluctantly, we dispersed into the dusk, some of us on bikes, some on foot but all of us thrilled that the whole summer stretched out in front of us with nothing to do but play.

Pure freedom!

I was a rock star at Kick the Can and growing up in a very small town afforded all of us the freedom to run through the streets, hiding in backyards, behind fences, in the trees – nothing was off limits including parked trucks and Mrs. Greyson’s flower garden!

Summer has always been my favorite season.  As a kid, everyday was a new adventure – running through the tall grass trying to avoid the sting of nettles, sitting outside the candy store, our arms sticky with popsicle juice, making mud pies, swimming in the river, riding bikes (always standing up), running through sprinklers, reading comic books….

Do you remember when you used to spend the whole day in your bathing suit?

Now most of us won’t even put on a bathing suit!

When was the last time you ran anywhere or skipped just for the joy of moving your body?

How come kids are the only ones who get to chase the ice cream truck, spit watermelon seeds and show up to the picnic with freezie juice on their t-shirts and grass stains on their knees?

We’ve traded our flip flops for sensible shoes and our shorts and t-shirts for pantyhose and neck ties – talk about the opposite of freedom!

Let’s go out and play again!

Let’s ditch the screens and the schedules, the spanx and the diets….

Instead, let’s roll in the grass, stare into the sky and have a chocolate dipped ice cream bar rolled in nuts for supper.  Like the RV commercial says…” let’s reclaim our wildhood”  and create a summer filled with play, delight, freedom and joy.

Wait….what’s that? I think I hear an ice cream truck….
 

Love,

Dynamic Reader:

“I’ve been thinking,” I said.

My husband met my gaze across the lunch table with an ‘oh, oh’ look on his face.  He waited.

“Since we are taking this trip to celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary, I was thinking that we could play a game.  What if we looked for 25 things to celebrate every day of our trip?”

“That sounds like too much…I doubt that there would be that many options to celebrate every day,” he quickly replied.

“But that’s the point,” I argued.  “We would be forced to really pay attention and to stay focused on celebrating big and small moments.”

This month of May has been a big one for celebrations.  Firstly, May is my birthday month, so I tend to celebrate for a week or two if possible!  Secondly, this year, May marks six years since my cancer diagnosis so I am also celebrating my continued good health.  And finally, my sweetie and I just spent 3 weeks celebrating 25 years of marriage by traveling around Peru where the above conversation played out. 

I wanted to help us remember why we were traveling through Peru and he agreed to play along.  Every day we started a list and purposefully looked for something to celebrate.  We celebrated little things like tasting new fruit, coca leaves in our hotel room, hot water in the shower, and finding a place to buy stamps.  We celebrated the big things like safe flights, adorable eclectic hotels with stunning views of the Andes, the moment when the clouds parted and we saw the ruins of Machu Picchu for the first time….

Most days we found our 25 – some days more, some days less – but every day held the energy of celebrating our life. 

About halfway through the trip I noticed that something was different.  We were happier than we have ever been on a trip.  We travel well together but there is usually a day when we disagree, argue or one or both of us has a meltdown making the next few days tense and strained (and one of us looking for early flights home…)

We didn’t hit that point this time – even when we had setbacks like a sprained ankle, delayed flights, rain the day we toured Machu Picchu or were running on 2 hours of sleep because of marathon travel.  The focus on celebration fed us, sustained us and made everything easier. 

What would your life be like if you looked for 25 things to celebrate each day?  How would your energy,  your work, your family, your community be impacted by a daily dose of celebration energy? 

I encourage you to give it a try – I’ll bet you’ll be amazed at what happens! 

Love,

Daring Reader:

Recently, I did an exercise where you make a quick list of the people, places, activities or situations that you complain about.  At first, I thought my list would be short but as I watched it grow longer and longer, each item triggering another awareness of my complaining, I knew it was time to make some changes!

Do you complain?  Do you complain to others about the same things that you complain about to yourself? 

I thought I had kicked the complaining habit – especially since I had started my coaching practice and speaking about joy and positivity.  As I looked at my very long list, I realized that my complaining had gone “underground.”  Outwardly, I make a point of not complaining but when I was alone with my thoughts, it was complain city!! No wonder my mind was tired by noon and my creativity and focus was non-existent. 

Sometimes we use complaining to connect with another person, a kind of ‘suffering together makes it easier’ mentality.  The connection is short, generally doesn’t last and really doesn’t make anyone feel any better.  I don’t know about you, but I want to feel as good as I can, as often as I can so let’s find a better way to connect and another way to talk to ourselves. 

Try the exercise that I described above.  Write down everything that you complain about, even the littlest thing – make sure you write it down, it’s more powerful that way.  Then pick one item from your list and make the decision to just stop talking, thinking or whining about it.  Ask your friends to point it out (kindly) when they hear you start complaining, invite your family to play along with you so you can remind each other.

The less we spend our time and energy complaining, the more time and energy we have for creative solutions, artistic endeavors, discovering new things and having more adventures!

Who’s with me?!

Love,

Inner Freedom Can Be Yours!

This is your chance to do some private work with me at a significantly reduced price!

I am refreshing some of my coaching skills and I need people to practice with! 

I am offering four 30-minute sessions per month for 3 months (starting in May) for $100 per month.  At the end of the 3 months I would ask you to write a short testimonial about your experience. 

We will be working with a method called the Inner Freedom Method™.  This is a tool to identify unconscious patterns of resistance and for moving through fear, resistance and old beliefs that need some upgrading.  I have been using this method for many years so I am very experienced with it and can assure you that you would really get some great results from using it. 

If you are interested in participating or if you have questions, reply to this email and I’ll get right back to you!

Yoga, Meditation and Life Balance Workshop

Following the teachings of The Way of the Happy Woman, this workshop will give you the foundation for creating a happy and more balanced life.  Learn about simple changes you can make in your daily routine to eat better, move your body and connect with your own inner wisdom. 

Saturday May 25, 2019
10:00 am – 1:00 pm
Sundragon Studios
3141 Portage Avenue
$60

Go here for more information and to register!

Happy Spring!

Spring is here.

Stop for a moment.

Breathe deeply into your belly.  5 deep breaths.

Can you feel it?  (no…not the burrito from last night…)

Deep in your center, the energy of Spring has been getting stronger and stronger and now it’s time. 

It’s time to wake up and start taking action on your dreams and desires.  The hibernating and quiet reflection of winter is over and you are being called to step up and create your life. 

Now. 

No more waiting.

No more holding back.

Now!

What has been calling to you for your energy, attention and creative genius?  Is it time to start your blog, find a relationship, change your work, paint that picture, take that trip, run for office, start your charity….

What wants to come alive in you and through you?

Today is the day to start!

Love,

P.S Join me on my Facebook page to tell us about the actions you are taking this spring!

Darling

January was a tough month for me.  Worn out from Christmas, then some plans and dreams falling through, life circumstances that were (and are) out of my control, having the rug pulled out from under me, twice…all wrapped up in a package of very harsh winter weather.

Did I move through this challenging month with grace and positivity?

No, I did not.

January left me tired, depressed and doubting my ability to do anything.  In fact, near the end of the month, it was so obvious that I wasn’t myself that a loving friend gently pointed out that I was being extremely harsh with myself.  She patiently suggested how I could view the various events differently and how they weren’t related to my being a good or bad person, they were simply the price of admission for being human. 

As a recovering perfectionist, I thought I had figured out all the ways my perfectionism can show up but here it was, rearing its persistent little head again!  Not just showing me that I still wasn’t perfect but adding on the judgement that I was worthless because I wasn’t perfect. 

Ouch.

Time for a reset!

I doubled down on my support tools and daily practices.  I asked for help from my coach, my husband and a close friend.  I listened harder and more deeply for the wise woman inside me who knows I am worthy and I let her guide me to a new understanding and awareness of who I am.  Instead of beating myself up for all my mistakes, failures and short comings I have challenged myself to use kindness as a motivator. 

Because somewhere, somehow, we learned that being harsh, berating, pushing, shoving, judging and beating ourselves up would keep us safe, help us get what we wanted in life, motivate us.  Have you ever been hard on yourself?

Maybe these tactics work…. for a short time…but in my experience (my own and from coaching others) it’s not a sustainable approach and leaves us feeling depleted, demoralized – our spirit crushed.

I decided to share my challenge on my Facebook page to keep me focused and to add some kindness to the online world too.  I started on February 1^st and you are welcome to read what I’m doing or even play along yourself.  I will be teaching some of the support tools I mentioned above in my spring retreat and if you want some new ways to treat yourself, you’ll want to join us in March.   It never hurts to be a bit kinder and if we can do it together, who knows how we might change the world!

Love,

Welcome to 2019!!

A shiny new year stretches out in front of us, bringing with it the yearly practice of resolving to do/be better than last year.  The television, flyers, billboards, Facebook and blog ads inundate us with messages of “finally losing the weight” or “at last, getting the love relationship”, etc, etc but this is the sign that really caught my attention:

                ‘May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!’

This mobile sign’s message made me laugh because for most people, resolutions don’t last.  In fact, research shows that most people can’t keep their resolutions past January 12^th! 

It’s my opinion (and feel free to disagree) that resolutions don’t last because they subtly imply that we are broken in some way.  Resolutions are created based on what we didn’t do last year or what we haven’t been able to change, and they make us feel like we aren’t good enough.  When we fee like we are broken, it’s like having holes in your garden hose.  You might be able to get some water to the garden but eventually the garden will wither and die because its not getting the full nourishment it needs to grow. 

Let me tell you right now…. You are not broken!

You are whole…you are complete.

You can stop trying to fix yourself because there is nothing to fix!

Now, ask yourself a few questions….

• What would you choose to do in 2019 based on the knowledge that you are whole?
• What joy will you create for yourself and others in this beautiful new year this is opening before you?
• If you were to choose a theme, a word or phrase, an inspiring quote to guide you this year, what would you choose?

Whatever you do, will you do me a favor?  Choose joy over fixing yourself and may this be the most successful year you have ever experienced!

Love,

We invited friends over for dinner recently.  I had been planning the menu in my mind a few days before and since it was a casual dinner with good friends, I wasn’t going to get too fancy with the food. 

I did,however, have it stuck in my mind that I wanted to serve Brussel sprouts, but I would have to make a trip to the grocery store because I didn’t have any on hand.  It was a day full of tasks and I didn’t feel like adding a trip to the store to the list. 

But…I wanted to serve Brussel sprouts. 

The more I thought about it, the more obsessed I became until most of my mind space was consumed with wanting to serve Brussel sprouts and NOT wanting to go to the store. 

Finally,I woke up and realized that I needed to let something go – the Brussel sprouts or the resistance to the trip to the store. 

I let goof the Brussel sprouts and the meal was fine without them.  No one complained or wished that I had served Brussel sprouts!

Why am I telling you this story, you are probably wondering?  Clearly Brussel sprouts are not important in the bigger picture of our lives, but this story is an example of how the little things can add up to something big. 

Each little decision you have to make takes time, energy and mind space.  These decisions drain a little bit of your energy every time you think about it until the decision is made. 

These small energy drains tend to add up until small decisions become harder and harder, creating a cycle that leaves you too tired to do much else in your day. 

Over time a habit of obsessing over little details and small decisions can create chronic body tension, exhaustion, mind fog, irritability, anxiety and eventually disease.

What do you need to let go of this season?  What small things can you release to free up your energy for more grace and joy?  What can you do to move into the season of winter feeling lighter? 

Maybe you can start by letting go of the Brussel sprouts!

Love,