Technically, coaches aren’t supposed to give advice.  We’ve been trained to help our clients explore and discover their own sense of what is right for them and guide them through decision making methods and goal setting strategies that teach them to trust in their abilities.  But every once in a while, when I’ve heard too many limiting beliefs from my incredibly amazing and powerful clients, I can’t help myself.  I decided to share a short rant with all of you in the hopes that you will consider taking my advice and therefore have a more joyful month.
Stop…

…trying to do everything.  You can’t and you don’t need to.  YOU ARE ENOUGH!

….trying to be perfect.  It stops you from getting information and from enjoying the process.

…taking responsibility for everyone and everything.  They’ll be fine without you and you’ll have more energy.
…saying “yes” to every request for your time, money and energy.  There are others who would love to help out.  Give them the chance.

…beating yourself down.  You are beautiful, amazing and an absolute blessing to the planet.  Be nice to yourself.

…thinking that you should know how to do everything.  You don’t and it’s okay – you’re NOT SUPPOSED to know everything.

…thinking there’s something wrong with you.  You’re not broken and nothing needs to be fixed.

…expecting, wishing, hoping that others are going to change.  They won’t. Accept it. It will make your life sooo much easier.

…thinking that you can do “this” by yourself.  You can’t.  ASK FOR HELP! That’s why there are other people on the planet!

It can be hard to think about resting, never mind actually resting when you are faced with a challenge.  The 100 Day Challenge is coming down to the last few weeks and you may be tired of your challenge, tired of trying to keep up with it or tired of not seeing the results that you hoped for.

This can be the experience of any challenge we face in life.  Often the advice is to just keep fighting, keep plowing through it, suck it up and keep pushing…not wrong advice in general but somehow, it lacks some balance for me.  We are far too quick to think that we must keep pushing when resting is the very thing that will help us to make it to the end.

There is tremendous power in resting but we never stop long enough to experience that power.  Resting is when we receive guidance and inspiration about what to do next.  Resting is when we regenerate and build our reserves so that challenges become slightly less challenging.

How do you rest when you are in a challenge?

v  First, give yourself permission to rest.  This step alone will give you more energy than you ever thought possible.  Resisting yourself and your need for rest is a BIG energy drain.  Start with permission.

v  Next is to change your thoughts.  Stop beating yourself down, judging yourself and telling yourself you are failing.  Judgemental, spirit bashing thoughts are exhausting, NOT motivating.  Stop them right now and in exchange think more restful and supportive thoughts.

v  Then look for times in your day when you can take a break.  Maybe it’s two minutes, maybe it’s 5 minutes, maybe there’s occasionally time for a 20 minute nap.  Can you sit instead of stand?  Can you put your feet up while you work?  Can you play restful music or reduce the noise that surrounds you.  Can you simplify something that you are doing?  Simply closing your eyes for 30 seconds begins to regenerate energy in your body!

Rest is not just about sleeping.  Rest includes the way you think about yourself and your situation, your belief that you deserve to rest and looking for small ways to take breaks through your day.  Of course, building in nap time everyday is a pretty good idea too!

Share your ideas here for ways that you like to add rest to your day.  You’ll be an inspiration to more of us who need to rest!

Joyfully,

Deb

The calendar indicates that spring has officially arrived.  As I look at the two feet of snow in my backyard, it seems like there was some miscommunication between the calendar and Mother Nature!  For now, the best thing I can think to do is to welcome the energy of spring and trust that the physical spring will show up soon!

The long, dark winter months were a time for reflection and going inward.  It’s a time for slowing down and resting so that when spring arrives you will have the energy and the inspiration to plant the seeds of something new.  As we move from the dark into the light, what is ready to come to life inside you?  What are you being called to “give birth to?”  What inklings, ideas and dreams have been whispering to you on those long, dark winter days?

I know for me there is a definite longing to shed the heaviness of winter and create more of a “spring” in my step!  Now is the time to align with the energy of spring.  Allow the waking up of nature to support you in waking up to what needs to come alive in you.  You are here for a purpose and this is the perfect time to plant the seeds and nurture that purpose to life!

I can’t wait to see what comes alive for you…  Happy Spring!

I’m lying on my yoga mat attempting to follow my yoga teacher’s instructions for cat tail pose.  “Bring one knee up….catch hold of the opposite foot…twisting gently backwards towards the floor….”  Then he says my second favorite words (my favorites being “release the pose”)… “if you are not able to fully move into the pose then just move in the direction.”

Ahhhh…relief!  I don’t have to achieve the whole pose right now.  It doesn’t have to be perfect.  I am invited to do whatever is best for me and my body in this present moment.  Moving in the direction of the pose gives me relief physically, it teaches me about being in the moment and it reminds me to connect with my breath and listen to my needs.  I can also achieve these results by bending my body into the actual pose but the pose comes with the pressure of perfection and feeling of failure when I can’t bend that way yet.

I suspect that many people don’t try yoga because they think they will have to bend their bodies into these seemingly impossible shapes.  I know that many people don’t try for their dreams because they can’t imagine how they will do every single task required to realize their dream.  Are you afraid to reach for your dream because you don’t know how to get from where you are now to where you want to be?  I had no idea I would become a Life Coach, Speaker and business owner.  I just knew that I wanted more joy in my life and I started to move in that direction.

Don’t put off your dream for one more second!  Start moving in the direction of whatever you want, right now.  Make the declaration, make the phone call, say no, do some research, say yes, ask for help – stop thinking that you have to get into the “perfect pose.”  Do something, ANYTHING that moves you in the direction of your dream and I promise you, joyful results will occur.  You may release the pose now!

Okay, I’ll admit it…I’m not really interested in my 100 Day Challenge right now.  Truthfully, I’m kind of bored.  It seemed like a really good idea at the time – when I first put it together but now…it’s more of a chore than a challenge. 

When I noticed my lack of interest in my chosen challenge, I thought that maybe it was just too hard or there was too much work involved.  Then I examined my feelings more closely and realized that what I am doing is just not that interesting to me.  There’s very little joy (even though I find learning joyful). 

Originally, I wanted to focus on Facebook, You Tube and Pinterest.  I was excited about the possibilities of being more creative and playful with these three types of media.  There are some really interesting things that can be done especially with video and pictures.  But into the second week of the challenge I changed my mind and switched Facebook for Linked In.  Why?  Because I learned that using Linked In might be more effective for business.  That’s where the challenge started to go off the rails for me.  I started to do something that I “should” do, according to the opinions of others.  Oops…I disconnected from myself …again! 

So it’s time for a readjustment.  Giving myself permission to change course slightly and add the joy and playfulness back into the challenge.  Getting back into alignment with me and what I want will keep me centered and give life to my challenge again. 

Keep this in mind for your own challenge – whether it’s the 100 Day Challenge or anything else you are up to in your life.  Can you feel the energy of excitement and growth?  Is there a little tingle or secret giggle when you think of what you are creating in your life?  Notice if you get bored, disinterested or wander away from your focus.  These feelings are your indicator lights, so to speak, that tell you that there is something out of alignment.  The sooner you notice the feeling, the sooner you can get back to feeling your joy again! 

Feel free to share your feelings about any challenge that you are facing right now.  What are you doing to come back to your center?

Joyfully,

Deb

Sometimes the best laid plans can go astray!  I started my 100 Day Challenge with a clear plan of focusing on Facebook, You Tube and Pinterest.  But…things are about to change!  I had the chance to take a workshop on social media for business this past week and as I worked through the information and the steps to creating a marketing plan, I realized that I needed to adjust my plans for the 100 Day Challenge.  So, my focus is now shifting to learning about Linked In, Pinterest and You Tube!  Just a slight change but I wanted to share this with you because you may have hit a similar place in your challenge. 

The first couple of weeks of any new plan, in my opinion, are always the testing phase.  If you are at all like me, you have great ideas about what you want to accomplish with any plan – whether it’s for your day, for an event or for something like the 100 Day Challenge.  As a Life Coach, I am quite good at coaching my clients to adjust their plan greatly, especially at the beginning, when they have set a new goal for themselves.  There are so many factors that can affect your plan that you can’t anticipate – the biggest one being that you ALWAYS underestimate how long it will take to complete a task!  Another factor that often plays into having to adjust is that you get new information which may require a change in approach. 

So, take a look at where you are at with your challenge.  Has it been too hard?  Has it been too easy?  Do you need to adjust in some way?  Don’t worry if you need to adjust – that’s part of learning and part of the challenge!  And if you are not sure how to adjust your challenge, let me know in the comments and I’ll give you some ideas to help you along! 

Joyfully,

Deb

One week in and I have already learned so much about the topic of social media!  My 100 Day Challenge is playing with social media – specifically Facebook, You Tube and Pinterest.  I started my challenge by creating a plan to help me stay on track and to keep me out of overwhelm.  By choosing three types of social media I narrowed down the topic and then decided that for each area I wanted to learn at least 5 new things, create something to post and post a minimum of 3 times per week.  By creating this outline, I have been able to stay focused and not waste time surfing around these social media sites and getting sidetracked by all the interesting items that people post!  I always recommend that you take a few minutes and outline your 100 Day Challenge plan – that way you will be able to stay with it more easily. 

So, one week in on Facebook and I have already learned how to search for information on someone’s page, remove people from my newsfeed without removing them as friends (because while I still want them as friends, I don’t need to see what they are posting all the time – I just take a quick visit to their page when I want to catch up on their news), I’ve learned how to create documents and how to create a vanity URL!  The vanity url comes in handy when you want to put your Facebook contact information on your marketing material.  You can create a name that is easy to remember instead of trying to tell someone your Facebook address with a ton of numbers, letters and slash marks!  My new url for my Facebook business page is www.facebook.com/GetItDunnJoyfully – feel free to check it out and comment on my posts! 

I hope you have enjoyed your first week of the challenge.  Be sure to let me know how you are doing.  Leave your comments here and others can also benefit and be inspired by what you are doing! 

Joyfully,

Deb

Do you know how wonderful you are?  Utterly and completely beautiful, talented and incredible inside and out!  Yes, I’m talking to you! At your very core you are love, light and joy and you were created to be sharing your love, light and joy with the world.  I know this can be difficult and confusing to do and if you are met with resistance and rejection often enough you begin to lose your connection to your inner love and light.

This loss of connection is, in my opinion, the main contributor to the increasing exhaustion, depression and snarkiness that I see in our society.  Working so hard to give your love and light to others – care-giving, volunteering, being responsible for everyone and everything – can give you a feeling of value and worthiness but somehow, this feeling never seems to last and so you are compelled to work harder, do more and give in greater amounts.  Can you see how this becomes unsustainable?  I’d like to suggest another way.

Have a love affair!

With yourself!

Working harder, doing more and giving in greater amounts can’t happen if you are operating on an empty energy tank.  Love is the fuel that fills your energy tank and looking to others to fill your tank can be hit and miss. If you want to be able to do your meaningful work in the world, you need a consistent and plentiful source of energy. Love is that energy and you can keep your tank filled by loving yourself.

I’m not talking about a narcissistic, egotist, “it’s all about me all the time” kind of love affair.  I’m talking about treating yourself gently, speaking kindly to yourself, giving yourself breaks and small, heart nourishing treats.  Care for yourself like a most precious object, like you would a tender new baby or the smallest of animals.  Treat yourself with love and the world will become a much better place without you having to exhaust yours elf with working to change it!  This month use all the Valentine’s Day promotions and marketing to remind you to love yourself and by the end of the month, you will have more energy, love and light to share with the rest of us!
Love,
Deb

On February 1^st, I had the pleasure of being a guest on Stephanie Staples’ radio show – Your Life Unlimited (www.yourlifeunlimited.ca).  I shared the guest spot with fellow coach Laurel Kidder (www.laurelkidder.ca) and together, all three of us discussed ways to set and reach goals that will help you live a more meaningful and joyful life.  The three of us have formed a mastermind group which has helped us to stay focused on our own goals and navigate the world of self-employment. On the show, we talked about how mastermind groups can be used by anyone, how to be more effective and efficient with your time and how challenges can add to your life.

Because I am a coach, through and through, I couldn’t resist seizing the moment when Stephanie mentioned that she would never be able to limit checking her emails to four times a day.  I suggested that she limit it to twice a day and make it into a 100 Day Challenge!  So, after some resistance and with great reluctance, she agreed to take on the challenge. 

This is why I love the 100 Day Challenge so much.  It has the power to make you uncomfortable, test you, stretch you and ultimately give you a confidence and freedom that you may never have experienced before.  When you challenge yourself to do something that you don’t think you can do, your self esteem immediately goes up.  Working your way through the challenge, one day at a time teaches you about perseverance, flexibility and commitment. 

You can listen to our radio show by visiting Stephanie’s blog at: http://yourlifeunlimited.ca/mastermindthis/#

I hope you’ll consider joining us for the 100 Day Challenge!  It’s worth it!

Joyfully,

Deb

Happy New Year!  Let’s get comfy for a few moments, shall we?  Pour yourself your favorite beverage, relax into your chair and let’s talk about New Year’s resolutions.  Most of you know me pretty well by now and you know how I feel about struggle and pushing and striving and being productive….these activities are joy suckers.  I DO NOT want you to head into this beautiful new year with all of its shiny possibilities without a full tank of joy!

Consider these two approaches for a moment:

Approach #1

Determine that there is something “wrong” with you or that you need to “fix” something about yourself or your life.  Set resolutions to correct what is “wrong” or needs to be “fixed” (ie: lose weight, get fit, eat healthy food, etc).  Run out of will power by the second week of January.  Give up, feel like a failure and struggle through the rest of the year.

Approach #2

Determine that you are exactly perfect just as you are and that nothing about you is lacking or needs fixing.  Fall in love with yourself right in this moment.  Choose ideas, activities and themes that delight, engage and inspire you.  Reach the end of December feeling light-hearted, fulfilled and joyful.

Which approach appeals to you?  I like number two and here are a few reasons why:

• You’re not starting with a lack mentality (which just continues to attract more lack)
• You are loving yourself which is great for your confidence and self-esteem
• You are orienting around joy and the energy of joy makes whatever you are doing sustainable in the long run
• Having a theme gives you possibilities for outcomes that may be even better than you could have thought of yourself
• It’s easier to remember a theme than a list of things that you may have to struggle through

Ask yourself “what would I love to do in 2013” and use this list for your resolutions.  Stop thinking about all the things that you think you should be doing and choose what would leave you feeling giddy with excitement.  Be creative, use your imagination, write down some wild, out of the box ideas.  Last year I wrote down ‘join the circus’ just because it made me think differently about the year ahead.  A few months later I found myself taking a trapeze lesson….so, you see, anything can happen when you focus on joy.  All of that other stuff will get done – it always does – but usually at the expense of the activities that make you happiest.  This year, resolve to play more, laugh everyday, join the circus, learn underwater basket weaving, buy your groceries using one letter of the alphabet each week….the possibilities are endless thus making your joy unlimited!  I’d love to hear what your resolutions might be…leave a comment below or on my Facebook page so that you can inspire others to more joy in 2013!  Happy New Year!