I was having lunch with a group of friends and colleagues recently.  Over delicious soups and salads we had the usual conversations about work, health and children.  As I listened to some of the conversations I noticed a pattern that I have heard before.  One friend commented on how bad she felt when she discovered her child needed glasses.

“I should have known,” she said.
Then another woman chimed in with the story about how her niece was having hearing problems and none of the family noticed.

“I can’t believe we didn’t figure it out,” she said, “how could we not have known?”
The conversation continued like this for a while with more women adding their stories, all ending in how they felt bad or guilty for not knowing something.
Do you do this?  Do you think you should know everything – about everything? Have you ever been hard on yourself because you didn’t know how to do something, didn’t have the right answer or didn’t get something done the way it was supposed to be done?
Let me be the first to tell you that you are incredibly smart (you read my newsletters, after all )!  You probably know more than the average person and yet you feel bad, ashamed or worthless if you don’t know something that seems obvious or simple (once it’s pointed out to you, that is).  Guess what?  There are many things in this world that you don’t know and as long as you hold onto the belief that you should know, you are never going to feel confident or good about yourself.  You can’t, you won’t and you shouldn’t know everything and it s time to stop expecting that you should!  Phrases like ‘What’s the matter with me?’ or ‘Why can’t I do this?’ or ‘How could I have not known?’ are signals that you are being too hard on yourself.  Beating yourself up for not knowing something is a colossal waste of energy and depletes your self-esteem.  The next time you catch yourself saying “I should have known” ask yourself this question: “When did someone teach me _________________________?”  Asking this countering question will help you reclaim your confidence and self-esteem.  It’s okay not to know everything.  Part of the joy of living is learning and gaining new knowledge…and that’s a fact I know for sure!